Giving Yourself Permission to Fail
Giving Yourself Permission to Fail
I know, this is a crazy topic for a gardening website, but this website is really about people and plants and their love of plants. And the one thing that I hear from people all of the time is; “Mike, I should have done this sooner!”
This guy, he walks around the edge of the swimming pool, every once in a while sticking his toe in the water, then he starts bothering the others who are enjoying the pool by asking; “Is it cold? Is it really deep? Does the chlorine burn your eyes?”
He’s driving them crazy, they are trying to have a good time in the pool and he’s being a pest.
Here’s the thing, way too many people are so afraid of failing at something that they never get started. They spend their entire life waiting for the ideal time, or waiting for this or that. But if you look around, look at all of the successful people you know, how did they get successful? They took chances. They took their fear of failing at something and pushed it way to the back of their minds and they trudged ahead. The universe loves and rewards boldness.
I look at people that I know and they spend their entire life denying themselves things that they want, things that they deserve, but they are hard wired to deny themselves. Why do they do that???
I’ve spent my entire life failing at things. My first really big failure was Financially Catastrophic. Family members told me to quit, to give up, quit trying, there’s no use. People like us don’t have a chance. I just couldn’t quit. I’d already paid a bigger price than most people are willing to risk so I trudged ahead and it paid off.
My inability to quit trying changed lives. There a lot of people who thank me for doing what I do because growing plants gives them purpose. It gives them a feeling of self worth.
So here’s my message to you. Whatever it is that you secretly want to do. Just do it! Take the plunge! Change your life! Interested in Growing and Selling Small Plants? Allow me to help you.
Does this really work? I want you to meet Phyllis in Florida.
When Thomas Edison was inventing the light bulb – his famous quote “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
As long as we keep trying, eventually we win! I had this quote taped to my wall most of my life.
Mike you are so right!!!
Phyllis, Thank you for reminding me of visual reminders. We all need that. Thanks to everybody that posted a comment here. I replied to as many as I could. -Mike McGroarty
You are so right! You just try again. It’s like a child learning to walk. They don’t give up because they fall down. The prize is worth the falling down. It’s part of the proccess. If we really stop to think about it, do we get that many things right the first time we do them? Same goes with gardening and selling plants. Just do it for the JOY of it and all else will fall into place. We tend to overthink things. You can’t go wrong if something is bringing you joy. I’ve found that money usually follows the joy… BONUS!
Thank you for another great article, Mike.
Helen
Thanks for your inspiration! As a fellow avid gardener, you have just given me the boost I need to go ahead with my native plant business!
Thank you!!
Yes that is so true – I failed the first time I tried to get into vet college, then I resat the exams and passed, and I am now a vet, or rather I am a mummy taking time out from veterinary to raise my 4 boys, so I’m seriously thinking about doing this, in fact I stuck 150 Brown Turkey fig cuttings this morning and planted 50 frosted curls grasses that I had divided from one original plant…
If there was no failute, success would not be noticeable and appreciated. Just like, if there were no shadow, there would not be light. My failures (and I have plenty) inspire me to success….
Thanks, Mike!
This year, as a 67yr. old first time gardener, I built 3 raised gardens because I have a bad back and problems with getting down on my knees. Even though I finished very late into the season, I was able to harvest tomatoes, eggplant, peas, beans, peppers and cucumbers. The point is, if I acted on the belief that it was already too late, I wouldn’t have enjoyed a very satisfying crop and growing experience. You’ve been a great inspiration!
Kathy, thank you, I love hearing comments such as these.
Wow! Just what I needed to hear for another area of my life I have been getting discouraged about. Thanks for the motivation. You are awesome, Mike!
Mike,
Thanks for the inspiration.
I want to get started, but I am not sure if Japanese Maple Liners will make it through the Winter this late in the season.
Scary to spend all that money and not be sure.
Jay
Jay, there are a lot of different ways to get started. I just planted out 400 Japanese maple trees, small ones, only about 12″ tall. Now I wish I’d ordered more but I’ll order them for spring.
where do you get your small maples? haven’t been able to find them.
roy
Roy, all of my wholesale sources are included in the wholesale directory that comes with my system http://freeplants.com/wanted.htm. I just bought some really nice ones for $1.80 each. Plus we have several members that sell a lot of different varieties to the other members.
Thanks Mike for all your inspiration and helping me make my dreams come true!
Jen
Jen, you’re welcome and as always I wish you the best of success.
So true, Mike. Very good and inspiring advice. As a landscaper, I sometimes feel like I’m doing something wrong because I don’t go to work every day and punch a clock. Some days I work twelve hours, some days I play hooky. My life revolves around the weather and how much energy I have. At 58, I can still work harder than most people but there are days that I just need to kick back. I’m not rich and sometimes winter is a big financial challenge, but I get to be outside on many beautiful days and feel very connected to Mother Earth and all the creatures who share this planet with me. Best wishes to all.
Jody, I understand what you are saying. These days I work a very different schedule but if you added up all I do in a day, it’s still a great deal of work, even on the days that I don’t think I’m productive enough.
Not trying is the real failure
Jack, you are so right. It’s better to fail forward and it’s only failure if you give up on your dreams.
Your right Mike over a year ago I found my self out of work due to cut backs. So I thought about going back to school and then it hit me, plants. So I took a job a a local nursery which is family owned and run for over 80 years. I love it and there is nothing more rewarding then gardening.
Jim, You will learn sooo much working at that nursery. Thanks for sharing and wishing you the best!
We are so afraid of failure that many times we don’t do anything which in itself is failure. So if we can give ourselves permission to try something and fail with the attitude that we can always get up and try again we are then free to do anything we want and put our minds to. Who knows we may even like it.
sorry the above comment should read
Patricia
If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.
— Henry Ford
We are so afraid to fail that often we don’t even try which in itself is failure. If we can give ourselves permission to fail we would find that we are free to try most anything we want and we may even enjoy it
Well said, Mike. When I first got into growing plants, every time someone told me I couldn’t be a ‘real’ gardener, because I moved a lot and had to keep my ‘garden’ in containers and keep everything small (bonsai & dwarf plants), I kept at it and didn’t listen. In the process, I learned almost everything I now apply to my much larger, permanent in-ground garden and flower beds. Had I let them convince me I’d fail…I probably would have.
Grace, you are so right. You have to follow the beat of the drummer that you hear, not the ones that people think you should hear.
Thanks Mike. I needed this really bad. I have bought some plants to get started but the fear of failing has slowed to down alot.
Thanks so much
I had a belt buckle years ago that said “Success comes to those who hustle wisely” so true…
Frank, I like that. Thanks for sharing.
thanks Mike
Now this is a topic I know something about
over the last 15 years I have failed at many things when it comes to plants. Moving from the west coast to the east coast and learning all these zones and stuff sometimes getting pretty confusing. Many of my west coast plants died because of it. But what don’t kill me only makes me stronger….
Mike i think you will like this i dug up some mature sagos got a bunch of babys off it and sold one of them for 200 all this was free
Dan, you’re right, I like that a lot! Nice job.
I have a patient who gave me great advise as I was going through my Master’s program (graduated in 5-12, at 64!). He said, “If you can see the big picture, you can do anything.” That was in a conversation about his service to our country during WWII. That kept me going through the program and now as my husband and I are starting our own growing business!
Thank you Mike for all the information and encouragement you send out to us!
Ruanne, thank you. It’s easy for me to see the big picture and I’m often aware that others around me have no idea of what I see. It’s about believing in yourself. Recently someone posted that they wanted to start growing plants but first wanted to make sure that they could root cuttings. Wrong approach. The correct approach is to see that others are doing it successfully and believing that if they can you can do the same. I don’t understand why anybody would want to take such a slow approach to something new. Success is realized by those who take massive action and take action often. -Mike McGroarty http://freeplants.com/wanted.htm
Thank you Mike, This is a great little way to make extra money in the spring!
Has anyone had success propagating swedish aspen? If so how and what were your tricks and timing? Thanks!
Don’t know that you care, but that facebook/twitter/whatever square makes it very difficult to read your columns.
Diana, I do care, but I haven’t noticed. Duston is getting ready to make some changes to this site so hopefully that will solve the problem. It’s always a balance of what works best for the user, and what do we need here to keep traffic coming in.
Have a question for everyone. I have a unused horse pasture on a hill. Haven’t used for years, just keep mowing it. What would use to put on the pasture? Have another good sized area(live on a farm) that
I have large vegetable garden (50 x 100) but still lots of room. Am going to put a 4 x 50 foot strawberry patch in this spring. Will have it 28-24 inches high as it is getting to be hard to bend down to pick the the strawberries. Also have herb garden, good sized grape area for 3 kinds of grapes. Now to figure out what to put in the pasture.
Rita,
One of the things that I try and suggest to people just starting out with http://freeplants.com/wanted.htm, is to start with a really small area and keep everything as tight as possible. Right now you’re mowing that pasture. But if you fill it with plants you’ll be weeding it! Which is a lot more work than mowing.
My first backyard nursery was approximately 1/11th of an acre. Actually when I first started it was 1/20 of an acre. The tighter you keep it, the easier it will be to keep it weed free.
Rita I would say put in your plant growing biz in that field. I kinda have the same ? The farm I was raised on was pretty much just pasture for the cows. My ? is, we put in new water pipes from the well and the ground was quite hard in places when tried to dig the trenches. So my ? is can dirt be too hard pan after being walked on by cows/horses for lots of years to actually grow anything but weeds? I know I’m being one of those you are discussing here. I am gardening and trying to sell plants from my small place in town and collecting too much stuff that needs to be at the farm. There just keeps being road blocks right and left so the process is taking longer than I like.
Years ago I had a belt buckle that said ” Success comes to those who hustle wisely” so true of a phrase…
Mike, you are so very right. every time I get an email from you I say to myself “this guy is so smart”. however I’m still afraid to change because my kids depend on me for that steady check as does my mortgage. I’ve been a cook for 27 yrs. and have hated it for about 15 yrs. I almost took a landscaping job because I love plants and the outdoors but I just couldn’t commit out of fear. plus its so seasonal. any advice??